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The topic of money can be a very sensitive one when it comes to your romantic relationship. Most people know that money is so closely related to our personal vulnerabilities and self-esteem. While money plays an integral part of our day-to-day life, it may be getting in the way of what matter to you; love and relationships. Ask yourself the following questions and be honest with yourself – if your answer is yes – it’s time to reconsider your relationship with money and your partner.
It Comes Before Your Partner
If you put money over your partner, your relationship will be doomed. Spending too much time and energy on accumulating wealth to the neglect of your partner’s wants and needs is the worst thing for your relationship. Remember that money is there for convenience and to enjoy the benefits it brings, ultimately, making your life with your partner easier. But give money too much power, and don’t be surprise to see how quickly it will make your relationship harder, and tear the both of you apart.
Money is definitely the icing on the cake in a healthy relationship. But, if your goal is to be with someone because he or she is financially well off, then true love and having a fulfilling relationship is not for you. Day after day, you will end up feeling empty inside and the money you married for, won’t fill that void for you. The saying is true, “you can’t buy love”.
Competing With Your Partner
Your partner is called a partner for a reason. It makes no sense whatsoever to compete with them. If you are making more than your partner, but don’t recognize your partner’s hard work, he or she will feel inferior and will become resentful of you. It doesn’t matter how small his or her financial contributions are, be the supportive partner he or she signed up to be with.
Mad At Your Partner’s Spending
Partners can drive each other crazy on what they spend on, especially if it doesn’t agree with them. It’s best to talk about each others spending from the start; otherwise the relationship will end in anger and resentment. Understand that you have different family histories, which affects your approaches to how you see and spend money. Expecting your partner to handle money the same way you do is not reasonable. So talk it out and get an understanding of your partner’s financial upbringing so you can bridge the gap between how differently you and your partner see money.
Fighting Over It Too Often
Are you arguing too much with your partner about money problems? It may not actually be about money, but underlying issues that run deeper that you are resentful over. It’s best to step back now and see the bigger picture. Is that argument really about differing life goals, or something more fundamental? You’d be surprised how often it is, but comes out in the form of an argument over money.
You Keep Secrets About It
Relationships are based on trust. Period. Keeping secrets about anything – but especially money – quickly erodes the trust and dissolves the relationship. Relationships are best when there’s full disclosure. So take stock of what you’re hiding and consider owning up to it now, for the sake of the success of your relationship.
You’re Too Materialistic
Money can bring out the greed in the best of us. It’s so easy to get caught up in the whole ‘keeping up with the Joneses’, which is always a materialistic competition. But material items are surface and superficial. Good relationships are about a deep strong connection. The two are diametrically opposed, with materialism being the force that weakens your relationship. And ironically, those that are too materialistic end up losing both, as your partner will no longer be there to support your spending.
You’re The CEO, COO and CFO
When it comes to money, decisions should be made together. Again, this is a partnership. But all too many people, especially those that make the most, treat it like a dictatorship. If you’re going to be the boss of the money, prepare to be in a company of one. Because no one likes to be controlled on how they spend.